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[01 Mar 2005|08:35pm] |
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
Because I would really, really love to stick around
Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race? A prettier face!
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your fantasy TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same
No way
Think I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the PR does not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy
What a kick just a buddy and me
We had every big shot good-time band on the run boy
We were living in a fantasy
We won the race
Got out of the place
I went back home got a brand new face
For the boys at Disney
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the PR does not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last
That's what you get
I say that's what you get
That's what you get for changing your mind
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the PR
Does not make the man
I'll hold on to my freedom
May not be what you want from me
Just the way it's got to be
Lose the face now
I've got to live
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| [In New York] |
[10 Mar 2004|08:04pm] |
*wandering around midtown, trying to find Martha's office building*
*he's still in his disguise, having added a Yankees hat and a large map for the tourist look*
Martha, Martha, Martha! Where is Martha?
43rd street! But I'm on... 48th street! Too far!
*heads south down Broadway*
I'm coming Martha! Ooh, better put money in the meter before I forget! Don't need a ticket!
*turns around and heads back to where his rental car is parked*
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| [still in LA] |
[08 Mar 2004|11:39pm] |
*A bag in one hand, Orlando stands outside a wig shop on Sunset Boulevard*
Ok, stage 2 complete!
*bzzzzzzzzz*
!!!!!!!!
What's that? I thought I turned my mobile off!
*pulls out phone and checks it*
Ick, voicemail!
*dials into voicemail and listens*
Oops! He wouldn't have wanted to come anyway! I think...
*mobile vibrates again*
What now? Ooh, a text!
*views text message*
SNICKY, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING IN NEW YORK? PLZ COME BACK SOON. I MISS YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. LOVE, C
*smiles fondly* Such a worrier! As if I'd get myself in trouble!
*hits reply*
DEAR CRAIG, BEST RUM RAISIN ICE CREAM IN NY! NO WORRIES! LOVE, SNICKY
There! Good enough!
*heads back to his car, carefully stowing the bag in the backseat as the passenger seat is occupied*
*checks the seatbelt of his passenger*
All set! We can't let anything happen to you!
*buckles himself in and starts the car*
Off to New York!
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| [In Los Angeles] |
[08 Mar 2004|06:23pm] |
*Orlando has stopped over in LA en route to New York from New Zealand*
*He's in disguise: a non-ruffled shirt, plain trousers, normal trainers, neat hair and sunglasses from the present, not the 70's*
*pulls up to a desolate street in Los Angeles, lined with dusty warehouses*
Ok... *checks a piece of paper* this looks like the place!
*pulls up to the kerb and gets out, grabbing a crowbar and something that looks like the remote control to a race car*
I hope this thing works! *gives the remote a shake*
*he glances up and down the street before creeping over to a rusty door*
*jimmies*
Hah! Security these days!
*slips inside the warehouse*
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|
[06 Mar 2004|09:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irate |
] |
So, Martha Stewart is guilty yet Ken Lay still walks around a free man?
I see how it is!
JUST WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE WANKERS IN THE STATES????
UNFAIRLY PERSEUCTING MARTHA FOR NOTHING!!
AND THEN FINDING HER GUILTY!
MARTHA CAN'T GO TO JAIL!
NO WAY NEVER NO HOW!
Right, that's it. I'm going to New York.
MARTHA LIVES!
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| [in his hotel room with Liv] |
[30 Dec 2003|11:08pm] |
*rummages in the hotel minibar*
Ok, vodka, scotch, gin, sodas, orange juice, wine!
*rummages more*
Oh, peanuts!
*tosses a packet on the bed*
Baileys! Ick! Gross! I don't like that stuff, do you, Liv?
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| [at the airport in Sydney] |
[26 Dec 2003|01:59pm] |
*loiters around the luggage hold of the plane trying to look inconspicuous*
Hmm, we have to get Billy out of the plane!
*pulls the Mynah Bird out of his jacket*
Ok, bird, you have to help me!
Mynah Bird: :D!!! POINT?
Yes, help me! Will you?
Mynah Bird: POINT! :D!!! *flap*
Thank you!
Now, see those luggage handlers? *points* Draw their eyes away from me! Give me some time!
Like a diversion!
Ok?
Mynah Bird: POINT! :D!:D!!!:D!!!
Great! Off you go!
*releases the Mynah Bird and watches him fly over to the luggage handlers who are grouped around baggage carts*
Mynah Bird: PIMENTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D!:D!:D! *starts flapping wildly and flying around in circles*
*the luggage handlers all stare at the frantic antics of the Mynah Bird as Orlando sneaks into the luggage hold*
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| [in the garden] |
[22 Dec 2003|12:16am] |
*Orlando sits in a patch of sunlight, humming happily to himself as he sharpens his knives*
Elves in the sun!
Oh, what fun!
*Suddenly, a white bird come flitting out of the sky and alights on branch*
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|
[16 Dec 2003|12:23am] |
Dom!
Now that you're back, we have to have a party for you!
I can write you a song!
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| [outside the WETA studios] |
[14 Dec 2003|02:15pm] |
*lurks about, dressed in black*
*spots Billy*
Psst!
Billy!
*waves him over*
I've been checking things out, looks pretty empty!
What's the plan?
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[![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) craig_lives flat] |
[05 Dec 2003|05:44pm] |
*The REAL Orlando, once again wearing his special shirt sneaks into Craig's flat and tiptoes into the bedroom*
*kicks off shoes and trousers and creeps over to the bed and slides under the covers, snuggling up to Craig's sleeping form*
*whispers*
Craig! Craig! Wake up!
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|
[01 Dec 2003|10:30pm] |
I sure had fun at the premiere!
What a great time!
Did everyone else have fun?
I have pictures!
Look!
This first one puzzles me a bit, because I don't remember going to a press conference, and certainly not in that scarf! But if there's a picture, I must have been there! Guess I was tired! Look at us all! But, who is that guy between Sean and Sir Ian? I don't recognise him at all! One of the orcs, maybe? Is odd!
But look at the premiere pics, I remember those!
Look! The hobbits! And me! Hobbits and an Elf!
HOBBITS, HOBBITS, HOBBITS!
HOBBITS ARE SO COOL
THEY REALLY RULE THE SCHOOL
MEN ARE JUST UNCOOL
AND ELVES SIT BY THE POOL
But Elves are still really cool and there's nothing wrong with sitting by the pool because you can wear cool sunglasses like the ones I'm wearing and work on your tan!
I did like the parade! I wanted to bring my bot-head, stuck on a pike, with me and show it to the crowd but Craig told me that wasn't a wise idea lest it get lost! That wouldn't do at all. I still have to have it mounted and put over my mantle! Because I defeated me and have proof! Nobody takes my knives! Human or otherwise!
But back to the parade, it was great to ride with Liv!
Isn't she pretty? It sure made the parade that much better to ride with someone as pretty as Liv!
And finally, a picture of me!
Look! No ruffles on my shirt! I picked it out myself and it has no ruffles! I can't wait to show Craig that I wore a shirt with no ruffles! Sometimes a shirt without ruffles is just a shirt without ruffles, and sometimes it's more! Hmm!
Ooh, I'd better go! I wonder if Craig is awake yet? He missed the premiere because he was sleeping, wonder what made him so tired?
I hope he likes the pictures!
And I want to see everyone else's pictures, too!
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| [on set] |
[28 Nov 2003|09:47pm] |
*Orlando is zooming towards his knives as they glint in the distance*
*He finally reaches them only to find them being twirled by the robotic hands of the Orlando-bot*
>:O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*plants his feet and puffs out his chest*
Orlando: Hey! You! Robot-me! Turn around and face me like a... a... robot!
*Orlando-bot pauses with the knife twirling and slowly turns around*
Orlando-bot: *scanning* Humanoid species *clicks and whirs* Humanoids must be destroyed *examines human Orlando some more* Humanoid is prettier than self. Does not compute. Does not compute. *frantic clicking and whirling* MUST DESTROY!
Orlando: YOU have my knives, I want them back! Now!
*holds out his hands expectantly*
Orlando-bot: Negative, humanoid. None prettier than I shall touch these knives.
Orlando: >:O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are MY knives and I want them back!
Orlando-bot: *assumes a fight stance, knives at the ready* Negative, humanoid. You must be destroyed. There can only be one pretty.
Orlando: Ok, fine! If that's how you want to play it, come 'ere! Nobody messes with my knives and gets away with it! I don't care how eerie it is to be facing off against... myself! If my twin had my knives, I'd take him down! *puts up fists*
Orlando-bot: Bitch, please. You are a humanoid and weak. I am a WETA engineered creation. And I am prettier. *lunges*
Orlando: *neatly sidesteps the Orlando-bot* Those! Are! My! Knives! *moves like a man possessed and lets loose with a kick, hitting Orlando-bot square in the chest*
Orlando-bot: *stumbles back* You will not succeed, humanoid. I am prettier. I have the knives. *recovers and lunges again, managing to slice at the smoking jacket, slashing it neatly*
Orlando: OMG! >:O! Craig gave me this! Ooh! Ooh! *hops up and down, his ears turning bright red* You will pay! *takes off the jacket and tosses it aside. Blocks the next slashing attempt of the Orlando-bot and clocks it across the face with a mean left-hook*
Orlando-bot: Ow! I mean, foolish humanoid, I cannot feel pain. *gets in its own punch, decking Orlando in the nose and slashes at him again, tearing his shirt into ribbons*
Orlando: *bleeds copiously* Argh! And my shirt! *rips it off and uses it to staunch the flow as he circles Orlando-bot, then tosses it aside and stands up again, assuming a manly warrior-type pose* Ok, Robot-me! Enough of this! You will give me back my knives and then I will rip your head off!
Orlando-bot: *Momentarily distracted by the sight of Orlando in all his shirtless glory* Prettier than me, not possible, not possible! *flails arms wildly, dropping the knives*
Orlando: !!!!!! *snatches up the knives* Now we'll see who's the weak one, Robot-me! *attacks with all the fury of a too-long knife deprived-maelstrom* Nobody! *punch* Takes! *kick* My! *stab* Knives! *slash* Understand? *Orlando carefully places his knives on the ground and grabs the hair of Orlando-bot in both hands and rips the head off with a nasty twist*
Orlando-bot: *faintly* Prettier, not possibl.... *fizzle* *the body falls to the ground with a twitch, smoking and hissing as the head blinks spasmodically and goes still*
Orlando: O.O *prods the body with a velvet clad slipper* O.O !!!!!! I did it! *holds up the head of Orlando-bot and shakes it* Hah! I did it! I ripped my own head off!
*takes the head of Orlando-bot in one hand and scoops up his knives with the other*
VICTORY IS MINE!
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[27 Nov 2003|12:53pm] |
*skipping along merrily*
Sing a song for me!
Legolas is an Elf, sitting in a tree!
On a mission, yes we are!
Don't try to stop us, we will get far!
I'm on the road, off I go
To rescue my knives, to strike a blow!
Let those who hear my happy song
Quake with fear, it won't be long!
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Disclaimer
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| [In the lobby of the hotel] |
[26 Nov 2003|01:21pm] |
*Orlando is lurking in the lobby of the hotel, he has a large shopping bag with him*
*Hotel staffers wander about, eyeing the doors*
Ok, ok, must cause a distraction!
*quickly opens the bag and spills a pile of Martha Stewart Living magazines on the ground*
*kicks them around a bit to spread the pile*
Sorry to do this to you, Martha! But me getting my knives back is a good thing!
*takes off the smoking jacket and the shirt underneath*
*steps out in front of the staffers*
Hello, hotel staffers!
I've lost my shirt! See?
Can anyone help me find it?
*the staffers start stampeding over to Orlando*
*and then slip and slide on the Martha magazines and sprawl out in a tangled heap*
It worked!
*puts back on the shirt and smoking jacket and busts out of the hotel*
*skips along the road singing happily*
Off to rescue my knives!
Then I won't have hives!
Orlandobot will be in trouble!
I'll fix his wagon on the double!
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|
[20 Nov 2003|12:33am] |
You know, I just realised something!
My knives are still missing!
I had totally forgotten!
BUT I REMEMBER NOW!
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Disclaimer
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| [In the hotel shop] |
[11 Nov 2003|08:34pm] |
*Orlando, clad in a smoking jacket and silk pyjamas, is wandering around the hotel shop*
Hmmm...
Ooh! Craig, *drops his voice to a whisper* they have pineapple AND cherry!
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| [in his hotel room] |
[04 Oct 2003|02:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
*sings softly so as not to wake up Craig, asleep in the bed next to him*
Elves don't need to sit by the pool...
They can do other things that are just as cool...
*hums happily*
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